Got a hole in my tooth
It’s been driving me mad
I’ve had it for weeks
And it’s hurting real bad
Dentist tells me “Sir -
you need some root canal work right away.”
Hey hey hey – what can I say?

Now I’m a lucky man
I gotta dentist from Greece
He’s a happy kinda guy
If a little obese
I think they call him Kyros and he
Likes to get inside my mouth and play
Hey hey hey

He took a needle and he stabbed it in my face
At least it seemed that way to me

I’m clenching both my fists and hoping not to die
With Kyros kneeling on my chest (it ain't no lie)
It’s not a pretty sight to see a grown man cry
Struggling up – just to get some air
In the nightmare of the dentist’s chair

Now Kyros he scraped
And he scraped a little more
Then he got out the drill
It was getting kinda sore
I tried to be strong
But there’s only so much pain one man can take
For god’s sake!

The bastard actually grinned
As he hit another nerve
Shooting fire in my jaw
In a hot jagged curve
My body was twitching
As my throbbing lower left molar began to break
Big mistake

Oh Kyros why’d you have to cause me so much pain
Ain’t you heard of novacaine?

I’m clenching both my fists and I'm hoping not to die
With Kyros kneeling on my chest
It’s not a pretty sight to see a grown man cry
All ye who would enter best beware
Of the nightmare in the dentist’s chair

I’m spitting blood and tears are running from my eyes
‘cos Kyros – he’s a butcher in disguise

I’m clenching both my fists and I'm hoping not to die
With Kyros kneeling on my chest (I swear it's true)
It’s not a pretty sight to see a grown man cry
All ye who would enter best beware
Of the nightmare in the dentist’s chair